By Our Reporter
BUIKWE
Police has arrested a 29-year-old, boda boda rider of Bulenga village, Kikwayi Parish, Ngonwe sub-county, in Buikwe district for allegedly pouring hot water into his wife’s genitals.
According to the police spokesperson, SCP Enanga Fred, Mugerwa Muhammad was arrested for the aggravated torture of his wife, Nakazi Gertrude, a 25-year-old, and resident of Kikwayi village.
Enanga says the husband suspected the wife of infidelity having spent a night outside their marital home on 19th October 2022 only to return back home at 9:00pm the following day.
“The suspect developed an intention of inflicting serious injuries on his wife, as a form of punishment. He timed when his wife was deep asleep, and boiled hot water, which he poured in the genitals of his wife,” Enanga said.
Enanga says the hot water caused very severe injuries and lacerations on her private parts and body surroundings.
“The victim screamed for help, due to the much pain and agony she was going through,” Enanga said.
By press time the victim was at Kawolo Hospital for treatment and her husband arrested.
POLICE ADVICE
This is an example of extreme domestic violence and revenge by men, who react with fury, instead of seeking better help on how to resolve domestic conflicts including suspicious of infidelity.
Being betrayed in a relationship does not feel fair or right, and it can bring out your rage, even if you are a peaceful person. You get mad at the person with whom your partner had the affair. You also feel angry at your partner too. And may feel angry at yourself for not seeing what went wrong and possibly preventing it.
Usually when partners or spouses find out their partner cheated a part of them wants to put it in the past and work with their partner to repair the damage done, while another part of them is still very pissed off. And this is where the urge for revenge after an affair comes up strongly.
In some instances, people do not realise that a reaction welling up side them constitutes a revenge. For instance, they start hurtful teasing or joking, destruction of property, criticism, spreading gossip about their partner or the other person, refusal to talk or listen, withholding sex, aggression toward the other person or your partner, threatening to have an affair, and even having an affair.
The desire for revenge comes from raw emotions, where you want your partner to know how it hurt you, when they cheated. Some believe they will feel better if they can somehow “get even” and revenge appears to be the perfect way to do so.
However, revenge does not work out that way. When you seek revenge, you do send a message to your partner and possibly others, as well, but at a significant cost. You drown yourself even deeper in emotional pain, grief, fear, sadness, anxiety, nervousness, insecurity, vulnerability and build up anger and other intense feelings instead of releasing them in a healthy manner. You even push an even bigger wedge between you and your partner.
In most cases, revenge does not just punish and hurt your partner, but it also hurts you too. It is therefore, important to find an outlet for anger, without criticizing or directing hostility inward. Notice what is going within you and find a healthy way to express how you feel. Give yourself space and freedom to let those emotions come out. Retrain from name calling or violent talk and actions and do not assume you know what is true for your partner.
